Today, I would like to share with my audience the interesting things I am up and about in this beautiful, gorgeous place. On my first day here, the smell of books and things touched drew me towards every corner and turn. I fell in love with this space. It was smell at first sniff. I was shown around precious, and strong materials that bespoke of a long march into a dark tunnel and continuing to come out of it. This place means salvation to me.
I have been part of Open Book, Story Cafe, Women Making It and Conversation Cafe. Every event possesses a different undercurrent and purpose. Open Book is a more sombre environment curated for sharing literature and writing around or about it. It became one of my new coping mechanisms for my personal life by the second time. It was shocking at the first time. In a good way. You know that feeling when you wanted to share something sad so badly but the person you talk to casually change the subject? Story Cafe feels more kind of, reflecting and sifting through someone else’s literature. It evokes more of a, reflective purpose without writing extensively. Women Making it is a hands-on working environment where I have got opportunities to tune in clay, paints, paint, stone, candles, decorations, etc. in a way my creative mind feels like doing. I find it a bit difficult to tie, or paint right on the lines, and other things that have been said to want precision. But the space doesn’t make me feel I have to be perfect. There is no need. To please anyone, except myself. The reprimanded, abandoned and dismissed child I had been, gets another chance to smile and wonder. Even though it still makes me queasy and nervous.
I headed my first Conversation Cafe yesterday! And before doing that, I had lower expectations from myself. I was confused and then, it worked out and I passed it. I kept on pushing through all the voices that had/are stopping me, voices not my own and never emerging from me. It was cathartic. I have entered into another experience in this Library.
Having worked at the Front of House, around Vanessa Baird’s breathtaking I Get Along With You Very Well exhibition, the cathartic Gatheric Stitch exhibition containing artistic expressions made of textile cotton/nylon, etc. against the force of sexual and personal repression.
I have been appreciated for the times I have provided here. I have been told I am valuable here. I have felt wanted here. I have felt immense acceptance and kindness in this, still a dreamlike, but definitely a real place. A safe haven. I mean, I can go on and still won’t be able to find the exact language to show you how I feel. It is similar to finding it difficult to tell someone you are not okay. Like telling someone they are hurting you, not being good for you. It’s impossible to complete the string.
I had been working on the Three Decades Anniversary project on digitally transforming feedback forms, so that we can make the process of evaluating our thirty-plus years impact and reach, in a more accessible and kind way. For me, the first thing as my priority was, ‘Is this accessible for most users?’. And I was happy to pitch in my perspective, gain more hold on the whereabouts and purpose of data, interact with external organisations to see how they like to work with their target/general audience. Receiving knowledge can feel intense and powerful. After you know something, you cannot shun that out after that. You will carry it, definitely, I will carry it for a long time with me.
I have left my impressions in that project.
Right now, I am working on my second project Open Doors. Well, I will keep it a surprise, except for letting you know: It’s an outstanding door opening to powerful, cathartic and personal writings. This year we are focusing on ‘writing activism/activism writing’ (the interpretation is open). It’s a busy first month and I will let you off now with a question. Between peace and liberty, what would you choose?
Thank you for reading!
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